I must admit I have to be pretty pissed to stick my neck out and become very vocal about something. Now don’t get me wrong, I have many strong opinions, but I usually keep them to myself unless I am writing a check or defending something so obviously wrong that it brings my blood to a boil. I can actually tolerate a lot, in fact I have been sitting on my hands for about 6 months but I can’t anymore.
Archive for the ‘Clients’ Category
The title of this post is, of course, ironic. I write about sex work issues from time to time and am asked on occasions what I know about it. The answer is not as much as many other people who write in defence of sex workers' rights but, I suspect, more than a lot of those who post from the other side.
It is not only in Scotland that sex workers rights are being attacked by moralists. In Ireland their are plans to follow the example of Sweden and criminalise clients. Sex workers of course are not being consulted about this legislation. Pushing sex work under ground increases stigma, endangers sex workers and does nothing, absolutely nothing to stop sex work or trafficking. The Swedish legislation is a failure. Despite all the spin that the Swedish government puts on its own legislation it cannot provide any reputable, independently verified evidence that their legislation has had any real effect upon sex work in Sweden other than to push sex work underground and out of sight. That is not progress but the exact opposite of progress. SWAI in Ireland is trying to create at least a discussion around these proposals. if anyone can help please contact SWAI and offer what assistance you can.
MESSAGE FROM SWAI.
Sex Workers Alliance Ireland (SWAI) are trying to get as much support at the moment as possible. There are plans to change legislation in relation to prostitution to criminalise the buyers of sex. To people who are not aware of sex worker issues internationally this may seem like a good idea. However, its proven to be a mad move in other countries with sex workers being put more at risk with their safety, human rights and civil rights being greatly affected.
SWAI would be grateful to any support that they can get. Labour and fine gael have both come out as supporting a change in legislation without any debate. There is no discussion and sex workers are not being involved or consulted despite being the people who are going to be most affected by this change in legislation. The government are confusing issues like trafficking and abuse with sex work in general and mashing them together. It has been taken on as a moralistic issue with ruhama leading it (a christian organisation)….its craziness not to at least open the discussions!
HELP!! I want to see if we can open peoples eyes. Perhaps the unit left alliance, socialist party or similar would hear our opinions and help us. we are not looking for legalisation..simply to stop further criminalisation which would further stigmatise and alienate these women and men.
If anyone could help us in our campaign or know anyone who could help by perhaps joining us in the mini marathon, helping us gain support by email or web based media, messaging people to make them aware of SWAI or in any way at all please contact SWAI through their web site.
The mini marathon is being held in May to raise awareness of the proposed changes in legislation.
SWAI web site and link to a face book page where you can be kept up to date with developments. “HERE”.
A trafficker, Anastassios Papas, in the Oxford area has been convicted of sex trafficking offences. He is due to sentenced on January 21st. (If they can find him). What the BBC story fails to mention, is he was caught because of a concerned man who called the police.
A quote from the Oxford Times from the 53 year old client.
Last night the 53-year-old customer, whose tip-off sparked the police enquiry said: “I found their details online and, after seeing pictures of women on the website, called them up.
“I couldn’t’ believe it when I saw the girl they sent around. She must have been 13 years old at most.
“There’s no way at all you could have mistaken her for an adult. It made me feel sick.
“I thought about what I should do and I realised I had no other option but to call the police.”
The customer, who lives in Oxford and cannot be named for legal reasons, added: “What they did is disgusting.
“I know I use prostitutes and that’s something that most men and women will find uncomfortable.
“But the trafficking of women, and especially children, is morally deplorable.”
This man came forward and reported his concerns to the police and gave evidence at the court hearing. Imagine what would have happened in countries like Sweden and America where the purchase of sex is a crime. I don’t believe many clients in those countries where they are targetted as criminals would have reported this under age trafficking crime to the police even anonymously. This client thankfully had the opportunity to report the crime, and give evidence without fear of prosecution.
Further criminalisation of the sex industry would not have helped the victim of this crime. In case you are wondering, the traffickers was arrested in January, before the new legislation criminalising the ‘promise to pay for sexual services from someone coerced’. This client would now potentially be breaking the law, and have less incentive to report the trafficking to the police.
This article is from my own blog which is new and also a work in progress (this is the first post). I know it is probably a controversial article but certainly it is a discussion piece and reflects a little on how I view my work and probably how many sex workers of any gender or sexual orientation also think about their work. I look forward to comments. Enjoy
You can read my personal blog “here>
Posted on November 1, 2010 by DFHarlot
I have worked for 11 years as a male whore. I have made my living mostly from kissing straight men. My clients; you see predominantly identify as straight men. Most are married.
I like married men. Married men are easy and comfortable about what they are doing and what they require/want from me. They do not want a relationship or any social contact other than during the time they pay for my company. I like this. I want them as friends by the hour (or less or more depending) who will enjoy my company, want good sex and then leave.
I do not want love. I have love. I am already married to a man with whom I have all the familiarity and love that any full relationship can offer and I do not want that compromised.
Some people ask that if I am so happily married why do I do sex work, is my partner not jealous. I tell the truth. I do sex work because I like money and because I have a very high sex drive. For me doing sex work is to be paid for doing something I really enjoy. For me sex work is a perfect combination of pleasure with profit.
My partner understands that sex work is work, nothing more. It gives me pleasure, gives others pleasure and it contributes financially to our joint income. He also trusts me and I him.
The public pretend not to understand sex work and its detachment from emotional involvement. I suggest that this refusal to accept that sex can be both pleasurable and fulfilling with out any emotional attachment perhaps reflects a self perpetuating, perhaps even psychological self harming guilt trip that persists within society which blinkers itself to the failings of monogamy.
The reasons for this refusal to acknowledge the failings of monogamy are complex. Could it be that for society to acknowlege the failing of monogamous and heterosexual marriage would also perhaps undermine the foundations upon which our culture is built ?
We also have many powerful institutions within our society that have a vested interests in maintaining the status quo. These institution use their authority to perpetuate no only the idealism of monogamy and the institution of marriage but also the myths that surround the institution. The result is that the public, including minority groups such as gay men and women, just find it easier to aquiesque and perpetuate old idealisms of loving perfection rather than chalenge the status quo and publicly acknowledge the emotional complexity that many face when dealing with sometimes complicated sex lives.
Sex workers provide one way of dealing with these problems. Sex workers are the imperfection that help to maintain the façade of normality and happiness behind which so many hide. You may hate us but can you do without us?
Love and sex with marriage as the cement that binds two people in sexual/loving domestic bliss is a fantasy for most and for some a cruel fantasy. This does not stop all of us desiring this perfection which we are told is the only thing that will bring us “true” happiness. Sex we are warned outside the confines of a loving relationship is not only less but perhaps even harmful and damaging to us both individually and as communities.
The reality however for many, if not most married/monogamous couples; is often very different to this fairy tale fantasy that so many strive to achieve. For most people, life and relationships are a succession of small, medium and sometimes bloody huge compromises that allow us all to compartmentalise our lives into manageable and viable segments. Sex like most things in life is about compromising our needs with the reality of our situation.
And so this is why I like married men. I am their little compartmentalised cock festival. I am their escape from the pressures they face to be men in a world that still evolves around old paternal idealisms about heterosexual monogamy and more importantly heterosexual notions of maleness.
Yes men can scratch their balls, have sly looks at other men in the changing rooms, tell each other rude stories and pat each other familiarly on the back. This is safe, trained, engineered behaviour. Men have been taught how far they can go to release their sexual/emotional steam within the confines of prescribed behaviour that actually stifles and entraps them further into conformity. Being a man is hard in a society that expects so much yet allows so few freedoms.
I allow married men to let their dark lusts run free and unchecked for a time. I take away their stresses before they return to heterosexual bliss in the arms of their wife (or girlfriend/partner). I like all sex workers, male, female and trans men and women provide safe diversions for men (and women) to escape and indulge their sexual fantasies for a short time before returning to society less stressed and perhaps even more loving and caring. I Hope so.